


Next You'll See Me Look Away

by Laenix



Category: Social Network (2010)
Genre: Cheese, M/M, Sexism, clothes don’t exist, cursing, drug abuse/addiction, no clothing logic (alternatively, obviously!), soul mates, superlight/pre-slash, they’re all naked, werewolves and vampires
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-04-13
Updated: 2013-04-13
Packaged: 2017-12-08 09:26:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,803
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/759784
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Laenix/pseuds/Laenix
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sean is a female alpha werewolf who recently abandoned his old pack. Mark is a male alpha who wants Sean to help lead his own pack. And then there are vampires, whatever.</p><p>(In the process of rewriting this to be more socially aware because it's not lol. Has some issues with addressing gender and nonbinary topics. trying to be better?)</p>
            </blockquote>





	Next You'll See Me Look Away

**Author's Note:**

> Title: Next You’ll See Me Look Away  
> Pairing(s): Mark/Sean  
> Rating: T  
> Warnings: superlight/pre-slash, no clothing logic (alternatively, clothes don’t exist, they’re all naked, obviously!), cheese, sexism, cursing, drug abuse/addiction, soul mates, parental issues,gender issues,werewolves and vampires  
> Word count: ~10.8k  
> For the [tsnrarepairfest](http://tsnrarepairfest.livejournal.com/)  
> Incredible [Art!!](http://badsketches.livejournal.com/40634.html)

The nights were the worst because they were quiet. His ears pricked at any sound low enough to be a growl. Every breath he took seemed to resonate far beyond his own body.

Sean was not in his own territory, he was not among his own, and those were reasons enough to be attacked and killed. It was an intuitive law he couldn't escape, even when he buried himself deep in the city. Metallic walls and oily vapors didn't block out the draining need to be back with his companions – and the sense of protection they provided.

When he first started using, the Wolf resisted. Hard. The turmoil was so horrible that he swore he'd never try it again. Then, amazingly, it _won_ , and She quieted. He could finally breathe.

It wasn't long before She not only stopped protesting, but needed it. She was restless whenever he came down for too long. Sean didn't let that happen.

He wasn't proud of all the things he'd done – not as a human being and not as a werewolf– but it more or less worked. That is, until that night, during a waxing moon, Sean Parker stumbled out of a taxi. He shoved wrinkled cash at the driver for taking him to god knows where. The stuff he'd gotten was something crazy, more disorienting than usual. He needed to get somewhere, where he could stay and not get into –

He didn't notice them until he was surrounded on all sides. They were all bipedal, and Sean hoped at first he was just being attacked by some gangbangers. But no, their narrowed eyes and hunched stances were unmistakable. He couldn't _sense_ them like this, though; She was too far gone, barely stirring.

"Damn," said a blond one, his voice thick and smooth. "He's so high. He's pretty fucked up, are you sure?"

"I'm sure," said another voice, higher, piercing and clipped. It took him a while, but he recognized the authority in the voice to be that of an Alpha.

There was a shifting feeling in his stomach as She watched from the back of his mind in curiosity. Alphas did not take competition very well. But if it was an unmated one, Sean's own Wolf would appear as a potential mate, which Sean could work with; he would go along with whatever this Alpha wanted until he saw an escape–

Oh.

He locked eyes with the Alpha in his human form. He was surprisingly small and thin, almost childlike. His skin was so pale, and his lips were red, and on any other face he'd look so fragile. Sean wondered for half a second if this one was like him – all split up. But he was male on both sides; it was absolutely apparent in his thicker scent, and in those blue eyes, sharpened chillingly by the shade of his brow and appraising glare.

Sean was so captured by them that he didn't even notice when the Alpha had taken his form until a dark brown wolf was circling him. A large snout sniffed at his body, wrinkling in disapproval against his palms. The Alpha looked up at Sean coolly when he snatched his hands up into fists.

Sean didn't change, but the other Alpha could hear Her anyway, responding to his attention. So when he heard the next few growls, and the dozens of new claws scraping the cement, he wasn't surprised when everything went black.

-.-.-.-

He woke up in Her form, which fared much more comfortably against the twigs and rocks jutting from the ground. The pills were still fogging up his senses, and his head pounded like a bitch, but he could still remember what happened before he blacked out. He wasn't clear on how much time had passed.

It was nighttime, but probably not the same night. Since his sense of smell was still murky, he scraped at the ground. The dirt was packed from persistent use, and the footprints were not human. Sean sighed. Alphas didn't try to bring others into their territory unless they intended them to stay for a while.

Changed, Sean lost the ability to perceive color in order to see more clearly at night. His nocturnal eyes didn't catch the Alpha male until he made a movement of his tail. Because of his position on a tall incline, Sean had to raise his head to meet his eyes.

"I'm really hoping we didn't fuck," Sean said bluntly. "We're still part human, so the rules of drugged rape apply."

It had a somewhat desired effect, since he heard the indignant snuffles of several pack wolves, but they didn't move out of the shadows for Sean to assess.

The Alpha male said, "No."

"Good," Sean replied. "Because, I'm taken. You'll have to find someone else."

"No," he repeated. He leapt forward, moving in on Sean. He was larger than Sean, as male wolves are wont to be. Since Sean knew that he was the larger one in human form, this was pretty irritating.

"Um, yes," Sean insisted. "You can smell it, can't you?"

The other Alpha was uncomfortably close. Not even in an 'I'm overly-affectionate' kind of way. More like 'I don't give two shits how uncomfortable you are.' "I smell your contract with another Alpha, yeah. But you're not with a pack. You left it. And you left your Alpha."

Sean grinned wide enough to bare his fangs. "So maybe that'd give you a clue about how loyal I am."

A voice muttered behind him, "Yeah, that's what I said."

It wasn't a werewolf. He smelled of copper and aloe. His lanky form left tall, clinging shadows that boasted a lack of natural life. Or – melanin, in fact.

The growl erupted from Sean. _Vampyr._

The pack wolves burst into action, surrounding the creature. But to Sean's surprise, it was a tight protective, rather than wide and offensive, circle. Their teeth were pointed at Sean _._

It took a while for him to get it before he broke out into disbelieving laughter. "What the hell is this?"

"Eduardo is pack," the Alpha said.

"That's impossible," Sean snapped. "Only wolves can be pack. That _,_ " he gestured with his snout towards the thing called Eduardo, "Is a _petsitter_."

"Hey, watch it!" growled a reddish-brown pack wolf. "Wardo's our _friend._ " He started forward, but the vampire touched a hand to the nape of the wolf's neck, and it stopped. The sight of a wolf under the command of a vampire disgusted Sean.

He turned back to the Alpha. "What is this?" he demanded.

"This is my pack. I want you to be a part of it."

His response was immediate. "Fuck off."

The Alpha wasn't deterred. "We can wait for you."

Sean shook his head. "I mean it, I won't. This isn't a pack, you've got a –."

"It's a pack," the Alpha said firmly and Sean couldn't detect and doubt. "We're different."

Different. New. Unheard of.

"What's your name?" Sean asked, wanting to know who this person was that was about to jump incredibly high before he fell.

-.-.-.-.-

"Mark."

"What?"

"I can't find my shit." The other wolves looked up, ears pricking at the growl underlining Sean's voice.

They were in the pack's den, which was ridiculously modern for being deep in the middle of a forest. Half of the pack seemed to have been total geeks before converting to the nightlife, and they just couldn't seem to abandon the twenty first century. That meant an extremely efficient power generator, a stolen internet connection, three of the latest gaming platforms, twice as many computers, and a heavily abused microwave.

Dustin, the whiny red wolf who was being chummy with the vampire earlier, was half-shifted and playing poker with Andrew (a small black newbie whose tail was splattered with acrylic paint) – and Erica (a wolf with a mean bite and the softest fur Sean had ever felt). Chris was in full human form because reading books required thumbs that didn't tear every other page.

Sean seemed to be the only one to realize that there was someone intruding this pack's territory – namely him. He had approached every one of them and their responses ranged from indifferent to warm to weird, but not hostile.

"Hey," he said loudly at one point. "You all realize I'm not in your pack, right? Hello? Potentially dangerous threat in the area!"

The only one who looked up was Ashleigh, and it was only to ask if he wanted to go out rabbit hunting with her and Billy.

"What? Are you insane?" Sean spluttered, which somehow led to him stalking through some wild berry bushes, showing the younger wolves how to catch an elk unawares.

He ended up being in Her form for several hours, so it was that long before he noticed, when he reached into the pockets of his jacket, that they were empty.

"Is that a question?" Mark asked from his computer. He was coding for something, which presumably brought in the money that paid for all these material things.

"Sorry. Mark. Where the hell is my shit?"

"Your drugs, you mean."

"Yes," Sean snapped impatiently, Mark's tone rankling him. "My _pills._ "

"I threw them away."

"You _what!_ "

"You don't actually need me to repeat myself."

"I actually do. I need to know I heard you wrong or I might just tear your throat out right this second."

Chris stood up cautiously but this had been the umpteenth offensive thing Sean has said in the several hours he'd been here and the pack stopped being so worried for their Alpha's safety. Mark did tend to deserve a tongue lashing every so (very) often, and he seemed to be getting immune to Chris and Erica's efforts. It was nice to mix things up.

"I'm not gonna have an addict in the pack."

"I'm not _in_ your pack," Sean said. He knew they weren't going to let him leave the territory until they were eventually convinced that Sean was not looking for a pack or a mate. But he was perfectly fine being Lone, as long as he could just keep Her calm.

"Right. Because you're an addict."

Had he just walked into a support group meeting? "Mark!"

"We aren't cutting you off completely. I'm not stupid enough to think your withdrawal is only a willpower thing."

"You threw it _away_ ," Sean said, a despairing moan threatening to creep into his voice. "How exactly are you planning to get more?"

Mark wasn't even looking up at him; his fingers never stopped flying across the keyboard. "I'm not. They make you stink."

He couldn't quite explain why that sent him over the edge. Maybe it was the way Mark sort of shrugged his shoulders at Sean like his problems were the least of his concerns, even though he had just staged what was basically Sean's kidnapping. Or the way impatience was creeping into his voice like Sean was a kid having a temper tantrum in the candy section of Safeway. His condescension is more like a vampire than a wolf, Sean thought snidely.

He dove for Mark at that moment, and the bastard, who was on a fucking swivel chair, rotated himself and his VAIO away at the last moment. It was Erica who caught Sean, swiping at his face to keep him away.

"Don't hurt him," he heard Mark demand, even as three wolves piled on top of him. "Where's Wardo?."

"He's in a Clan meeting," Chris said.

"Get him out of it. Andrew, pit."

Sean was pushed and bitten until he was backed up against some type of ledge, which he didn't notice until he fell over it. He barely landed on his paws, which scraped clumsily against hard rock anyway, and whimpered as he stumbled and rolled into a jagged dirt wall. When he opened his eyes he was looking up at six or so wolves peering down at him.

"Don't TELL me what to do!" he roared.

He scratched at the wall, trying to find something to grab onto, but found nothing. He barely had room to walk ten steps on his four legs. The panic built up in Sean. He had no way of escaping. His body was sore, and it didn't seem to just be from the fall. He was trapped, caged, couldn't breathe. She thrashed loudly inside him, making his head pound. He tried to draw in breath, with a sudden urge to howl. A pitiful sound escaped his lips. Shh… Shaaa – _help._

The wolves disappeared one by one from Sean's view at the bottom of the pit until finally he only saw Mark watching him from over the ledge.

Sean wouldn't beg, so he curled himself up and squeezed his eyes shut and tried not to shake so much because it only made him sore.

He couldn't tell if ten minutes or ten hours had passed before he heard a flapping sound. He looked up to find a dark shadow descending on him.

He could do nothing when something cold dug into his shoulder, hot breath came down his ear, and sharp sting – actually more of a relief from the dull ache in his body – centered in on his neck. He immediately reacted to fight against it but to his surprise, fleshy fingers reached out instead of claws, and he had no defense for himself. She had gone.

He growled and flailed in terror, but in almost seconds he felt the familiar sensation of something being lifted out of his stomach and mind. His breathing began to level out and tension retreated from his body. "What?"

"It's what we usually use when we feed," explained Eduardo, "when, um, there's resistance. Similar component to the stuff you take, and it works to stabilize the brain chemicals you would be inclined to stop producing otherwise on the pills. The plan is to taper you off on dosage until you don't need it anymore. We'll be keeping an eye on your heart rate and body stats to make sure we're going at the right pace."

Sean asked, "Why would you care about that? You don't like me."

"You got me there." He roughly pushed Sean on his back and leaned in close. Sean was too confused to speak and by the time he thought of something to say Eduardo had already leaned in to his neck, listened for a moment, and called upwards, "It's regulating. I'll see him again tomorrow. Make sure to keep listening to his heart rate. Keep him hydrated."

"Good," Sean heard Mark say. "Thanks, Wardo."

Eduardo didn't say anything more to Sean before he leapt, practically _floated_ like a fucking ballerina out of the pit, and left Sean to himself once again. Mark was still there, peering down again.

"Why would you care?' Sean repeated to him. "I'm not going to be part of your pack."

Mark disappeared and reappeared with a bundle in between his jaws. When he dropped it, it unraveled into a rope ladder. By the time Sean was at the top of it, Mark had transformed back to give him a helping hand. Sean didn't take it.

Mark drew back his hand easily. "This was an exception because you panicked. Throughout your withdrawal over the next few months you will be in the pit whenever you become aggressive and when you can't control yourself during the full moon. Eduardo will administer your detox regularly."

"And I don't get any say in this?" Sean growled at that. "I'm not gonna be dependent on any damn vampire."

"He's pack. I trust him."

"Like I give a damn who you trust," Sean snorted. "Whatever fucked up thing you have going on here, I don't want to be part of it. You trust him so much, why don't you mate with _him_?"

Mark didn't reply right away.

"Oh my god," Sean gasped in realization. "That is gross. That is so gross. He's dead!"

"No shit. We dated. It didn't work out," Mark said tersely. His voice roughened to the point of just being a growl, discouraging Sean from prodding. Though he really wanted to.

They came to the back of the den where Sean saw the rest of them, all piled up, asleep. There were small holes through the ceiling the den where sunlight poked through, making small white spots bounce off their skin and fur. They were a tangle of human limbs and paws and tails, and long, even breaths. It had been a long time since Sean had seen something so simple and intimate.

"Sleep."

Sean shuddered. The idea of sleeping in foreign territory was terrifying. "No." But his drugged up mind and body were giving way to the temptation. "You can't keep drugging me up like this." Hypocritical, whatever.

Mark nudged him forward, "I'm watching. They won't hurt you."

The two statements were actually unrelated, because they both knew (Mark instinctually and Sean logically) that the pack wouldn't do anything to him regardless of whether or not Mark was watching. But the combination of words seemed to appease Sean in a way that surprised him.

He didn't approach the pile of wolves, but he did eventually curl in on himself a few feet away, and Eduardo's drug took him to a familiar place. Before he closed his eyes he saw the other Alpha settle down on his hind legs, ready to keep watch until sunset.

-.-.-.-

_The first vampire Sean Parker ever saw was, to him, beautiful._

_Sean was supposed to be with the family, with his mother and sisters. Because of Her, his father did not let him go hunting with his brothers. He had to stay behind and help with the pups._

_Except Sean was at that age where he was restless enough to do unsafe and stupid things without enough experience to survive them on his own. While his mother was distracted by a particularly upset pup, he snuck out in search of his brothers. He imagined catching a rabbit – no, a deer! –on his own and impressing his brothers so much that they'd have to let him hunt._

_He was sniffing around for tracks when he came upon the river where he saw her. She was blonde and sleek, and also vicious – as was required of any night creature. She was bathing in the river, the part shaded by some particularly heavy trees._

_He stayed hidden – not because he was intimidated or anything. He just didn't want to embarrass her, was all. Mother had told him that in wolf form, nudity meant nothing. But the human form was vulnerable and intricate, and Sean had to treat it with all the admiration nature designed it for. He didn't know if the same applied to vampires, but he didn't want to take any risks._

_He was caught anyway, by another vampire. He picked Sean up by the nape of his neck. Sean let out an embarrassing yelp in surprise. He was still growing, but he was still pretty large and to be picked up so easily by someone not his father was an impressive feat._

" _Hey, babe, look what I found." To Sean's utter humiliation, the male vampire dragged Sean out into the open, and the female looked up at them and smiled in amusement._

" _Don't start dragging the food around, they'd get dirty."_

" _Aw, I'm just having a little fun." Sean guessed that these vampires were probably Turned. Clan vampires tended to be a lot more stuffy and pretentious (dignified and traditional, as they called it)._

_Sean found himself flying into the river, the impact of it thrusting him down so deep he automatically shifted into human form to break surface._

" _Hey, what? That's a guy. I could have sworn I smelt a bitch."_

_The female swam in a wide circle around Sean. "Oh, I've heard of some of those weird ones. It's pretty freaky, but sometimes their stuff gets a little messed up when they shift." She smirked at him, then turned around. "I don't want to eat it, it might mess us up. Get rid of it and let's go." She swam out of the river, and the male eyed her body appreciatively._

_Sean himself was naked, but he didn't shift back to wolf since he didn't trust his dogpaddle against the current. Brutally, the male was slow to leave and before he did, he turned around back to Sean._

" _Hey, muttface! Don't need to be so scared, you know why? I don't kill bitches. It's better if you live long enough to pop out some more of you, yeah?"_

-.-.-.-

It was a long fucking time before Sean felt anything remotely resembling 'better'. Most nights he just ached all over, he could barely eat the food the pack brought back from hunting. He was constantly hot on the outside and freezing on the inside. As dosages lessened, the Wolf paced back and forth in frustration, keeping him from sleeping it off. It was exhausting, angd Sean loved to lash out at Eduardo for it. In the back of his mind, he knew he was being unfair. That Eduardo was even putting up with his shit, just because Mark wanted him to, was truly telling about his loyalty.

Of course, that pissed Sean off even more.

"Does it drive you crazy?" Sean asked once while Eduardo was still buried in his neck. "He's making you help me when all you want to do is bite all the way down and get rid of the threat. He's not interested in you."

He hissed when Eduardo pulled away roughly. They both knew that Sean was trying to goad him. "I'm not jealous."

"What are you?"

"Nervous, maybe."

The admission surprised him. "Why?"

"If he ends up being wrong about you, I'll have to clean up the mess I make."

Sean's laugh poured out of him like sludge. "Mark _is_ wrong. I was an Alpha of a pack. It's gone. I'm not. The lowest of Lones are the ones that leave their packs to die."

"Yeah. Mark knows that," Eduardo said tersely.

"So? You should be ripping my head off right here. If you really want to protect this pack you think you're a part of."

"I _am_ a part of this pack. Mark wants me to help you. I'm doing it."

"I've never seen a flying rat so thoroughly _whipped_ ," Sean sneered.

Eduardo moved then, fangs bared. Sean, expecting the fight, shifted to jump forward and bite. The vampire, however, instead of attacking, only pushed Sean down by his spine and climbed on top of him. He pinned Sean down, fingers digging into his neck, not inflicting any injury. He was _restraining_ Sean.

"Don't patronize me!" Sean growled, thrashing.

"Stop being a brat," Eduardo retorted. "Mark wants you. I'm helping him."

"If he and I mate," Sean hissed. "We're going to fuck. Are you honestly okay with that?"

"Are _you_?" Eduardo snapped.

"Wardo," Mark said then, appearing behind them. He and Eduardo locked eyes, sharing a mental conversation that was possible only between friends.

"I'm going," Eduardo said, smoothly removing himself from Sean, and disappearing into the night, leaving him with Mark, whose face was unreadable.

"Look," Sean started. "You don't have any right to ask me to play nice, okay?"

"I don't care. You need to grow up. When what's left of your mate and your old pack finally dies out –"

"Fuck you," Sean snarled, "You think you know anything –!"

"—then you're going to need us to pick up the pieces – "

"I don't need anyone!"

"I need you." Mark face twisted with discomfort. "The pack needs you."

Sean imagined that this must have been Mark before he started a pack. Awkward, unsure of himself; his words were stilted because he struggled to find and sort them out, not just because he felt they were a nuisance to say.

"Whatever they need, you'll do find a way to do it." He didn't know if that was an argument or a reassurance.

-.-.-.-

_They called each other Parker and Fanning, for simplicity's sake. They met up every day after Fanning finished his classes, and he brought Parker a bag of beef jerky. The stuff wasn't very filling but it dried into a wonderful texture that Parker could never achieve by himself._

" _So what happens if an Alpha challenges another Alpha for its pack?" Fanning asked, flipping through pages of his AP Physics book._

" _Then they fight. The one who lives gets the pack."_

_Fanning frowned. "That sounds horrible, to have your whole life dependent on just a couple."_

_Parker nodded. "All these politics, that's a human thing, for people who can't deal with change and need someone to make the rules for them."_

" _Aren't you the rulemaker?" Fanning looked up at Parker. "I mean, you're an Alpha."_

" _Sort of." Parker smiled grimly. "Alphas don't make the rules. The rules are just in their favor. But a slave to the status quo is still a slave."_

" _You think you can break the rules," Fanning said. He was staring Parker straight on, all pretense of studying gone._

_Parker eyed Fanning. The boy had the makings of an Alpha in him; Parker could tell._

" _Yeah. You could help me."_

-.-.-.-

The pack, for some reason Sean couldn't fathom, tried to find ways to distract him when it got bad. Erica sparred with him when his body screamed to move in more directions than he had reason to. Billy played darts with him. When he needed something a little more mentally stimulating he played Street Fighter with Dustin or chess with Chris. Andrew taught him how to solve a Rubix cube. Ashleigh made him some origami ninja stars, and he threw them at Mark until Mark started chewing them. And then Eduardo made Sean stop because "He already puts enough crap in his body; don't enable him, you jerk."

"So I need a point of reference," Sean said, while helping Chris, Dustin and Erica dig a trench out in front of the den for an incoming rainstorm. "You all like Eduardo decidedly more than you like me."

"Yes," Chris said.

"Not even a question," Dustin chirped.

"Like, the difference is night and day," Erica said.

"Right," Sean said, unaffected. He'd only known them for a couple weeks, after all, and he had been far from an agreeable guest. "And Eduardo doesn't like me at all. So wouldn't logic dictate that you protest this shit?"

"Mark's the Alpha. What he says goes," Chris said simply, but Sean snorted.

"I've seen you guys make him fetch you more sticks than a golden retriever." They smirked.

He said it mockingly, but it was actually quite astounding to Sean. Alphas were not told what to do. And to be sure, no one necessarily told Mark what to do. When someone issued an 'order' to Mark, it was not because of their authority as a leader. It was – and this was something Sean never saw among Born wolves until now – based on their bond as _friends_. The human concept of friendship permeated this pack's dynamics more thoroughly than Sean ever thought possible.

He explained this to them, and then said, "So I ask again – your friend brings a stranger into your circle – he's got a sketchy past, and a dipshit personality. Why is that okay? As your friend and your Alpha?"

They exchanged glances before looking back at him. "So, we've been trying to figure out if you're an asshole or an idiot," Erica said. "But I guess it's both."

"What?"

"When you started stifling your howl with those pills, you made it impossible for your pack to find you at night, right?" Chris asked.

Sean nodded. "Yeah."

"Mark still heard you," Dustin said. "And those were some pretty bad months for us."

Sean's head snapped up. "What? What are you talking about?"

"It doesn't make sense." Erica shook her head in confusion. "You're a Born wolf. Not Turned. You should have been raised knowing about this."

"Okay, so enlighten me," he demanded impatiently.

"Soulmates, dude." Dustin said, and Sean's blood ran cold.

"I hate that term." Chris complained, rolling his eyes. "It implies that everyone has one."

"Or that everyone _needs_ one," Erica added.

"Well I think it's an awesome, magical word!" Dustin huffed.

"Are you, like, twelve?" Erica teased.

"Are you serious, right now?" Sean interrupted. "If someone doesn't tell me they're shitting me right now I am about to go batshit insane."

"It's no joke," Erica said.

"Most can go their whole lives without one and be perfectly happy. If they were born with the link then they could become desensitized to the pull. They wouldn't need to follow it and could just find love on their own time, and whoever it was didn't have to be on the other end of the link, necessarily," Chris explained. "But when you started drugging yourself, you changed your signal completely. It was like Mark had lived his whole life thinking red was a shade of gray, and then he finally saw it for what it was."

"I think that analogy's a little too romantic," Erica said drily. "If you want to get a feel for how unsettling the change was, it was more like Mark was born with a limb on his back and you ripped it right off. We tried to sew it back on ourselves, so to speak, but you're the only one who can do that."

"I don't feel anything, though," Sean said, feeling dizzy. "I don't know what the hell I'm doing."

"You'll figure it out," Chris assured, but Sean realized it was more like a threat than anything.

When the storm came in, Mark was sitting at the entrance to the cave. He was trying to see past the rain just in case anything approached.

Sean stared at him from behind, watching his nose twitch every time a heavy drop strayed to his nose. His paws were darkened from rain that fell hard enough to bounce off the ground. The cold air dampened his scent, but when the wind blew the right way Sean caught a hint of it– something like saltwater and limestone, and a hint of the bittersweet tang in petroleum.

Sean wondered what would have happened if he knew. Would he have searched? Chris told him there were some wolves that devoted their whole lives to searching. Sometimes they succeeded, and they would reach their full potential as wolves. Other times they failed, losing time and resources they could never get back.

He knew why his family never told him about any of this. They didn't expect anyone would be happy about the fact that Sean wasn't the entire 'package', so to speak.

Did Mark really want this?

Mark's ears twitched when he noticed he was being watched. He looked over at Sean and stepped to his right, clearing a space beside him.

Sean hesitated before he took it. For a while, he was quiet next to Mark, trying to assess the feeling. He tried to find the link Chris had talked about. But he didn't know where or how to search.

The Wolf gave him no hints about it either. She was only quiet. Maybe, though, this in itself was something. If he closed his eyes right now, and just listened to the sounds of thunder and soft breathing, let the smell of rain cloud his nose, and sank his paws in the thick mud… he would still feel completely safe.

Yeah, that scared the living hell out of him, so he moved to get up and leave. But Mark started talking.

"My mom and dad weren't soulmates."

Sean sighed. There was the word.

Mark shrugged. "It's a stupid word. The soul doesn't have much to do with it as much as physical and mental compatibility – with respect to the efficiency of the pack. But I believe in it."

He waited for Sean to make fun of him for it, so Sean obliged half-heartedly with, "Hey, I get it. I'm not blaming you for finding me completely irresistible. No need for excuses."

With that out of the way, Mark continued. "They were good enough. They raised my sisters and me well."

"Where are they now?"

"My younger one has a pack in Mexico. My older one has a kid with a really understanding professional lacrosse player in some small town in California." Mark paused for a minute before saying, "My dad found someone else. Not a soulmate, but closer."

"Did he…?"

Mark shook his head. "She wasn't an Alpha. There couldn't be a challenge. I just took over." His eyes narrowed. "I wish he left immediately. I wish he hadn't stuck around and pointed out everything that could have gone better. He broke her down."

Sean looked down. He hadn't considered that. Even in something as cheesy as this, there was a formula that could tear an entire pack and family dynamic apart.

"If he had gotten it right the first time, he wouldn't have fucked it up."

"But then you wouldn't be here. Then where would your friends be?" He moved close to Mark, and licked at just above his eyes. The bitterness in them flickered away when Mark reacted with a blink.

Where would I be? Sean thought, as he felt himself easily settling down next to Mark.

-.-.-.-

Things got worse as the moon inched closer to fullness. He couldn't deal with any of them; he spat and he snarled until one day, when he got a little too close to Billy's weak leg (accident with an overprotective mother peacock), Mark ordered all of them to stay away. He didn't put Sean in the pit, though.

What he did completely surprised Sean.

Mark's human body was painfully smaller than even those in his own pack. So when the Alpha shifted to his human form in front of him, it didn't make sense. At all. Mark didn't even bother to wear clothes – and it made him even more vulnerable and exposed to Sean.

Out in the open like that, his skinny pale frame and stiff stance made him not unlike one of the slivers of light dropping down from the moon. If the wind blew any stronger he was in danger of being ripped away. Before Sean realized it, all of the tension built up in him was suddenly devoted to – protect, protect! – and he was in wolf form, circling Mark.

They were like that for the rest of the night. Mark lowered himself to the ground and let his skin be blackened by the dirt. Sean focused on his scent mixing with overturned soil. When he felt Mark's fingers trailing through his mane, Sean knew he had done right.

Later, when he was on less insult-throwing terms with Eduardo, he would complain, "There's no way he could have known that would work."

"I guess," Eduardo agreed. "He could have tested the theory with one of the others instead of himself."

"He wouldn't do that."

"No."

"He's insane, though."

"Yes."

"What is _wrong_ with him?!" Sean exploded, hands going up in the air.

"That's the thing about Mark that makes him an unlikely leader. People gather around him because they want to protect him. Not because he's weak. Far from it. He's just worth it."

Sean looked at the vampire tossing a hacky sack of all things against a tree and back with a twig in his mouth. "You know, you should tell him you don't want him seeing other people," Sean said.

"Mark doesn't _see_ other people," Eduardo replied. "There's no looking involved. He just takes."

"No yeah, I get that," Sean said drily, the first night he met Mark not forgotten. "It's got to be damn infuriating, though, that just by some freak biological coincidence, you two wouldn't work out."

Eduardo shook his head, tossed the hacky sack at Sean. "You underestimate me, but you really underestimate Mark," he said. "Mark makes things work when he wants them to. The problem isn't that we're on different sides of the moon or," he looked at Sean, "some preordained lunar matchup." He takes the twig and draws two separate lines in the dirt, eventually crossing paths, an upside down V. "How we started off doesn't matter. It's where we want things to go."

"That's corny," Sean remarked, gnawing on the hacky sack.

"I guess," Eduardo agreed.

.-.-.-.-.

The night of the full moon, all the wolves were gone, releasing themselves to the call of the moon. They were energized and restless; Sean was exponentially more so. He had no control, far too much awareness, and he wasn't among _his own_. There was nothing for an Alpha to protect, only a potential enemy on all sides of him.

He was in the pit, a small dark area where the walls appeared much higher than just above his ability to climb. A few hours ago he knew that it meant he and the pack couldn't hurt each other, but now it meant he was trapped and had no way to escape.

The Wolf growled desperately to find her pack, trying to tear out of him; he couldn't handle it. He clawed and clawed at the walls until his paws burned, and he threw himself up and landed on his back so much that his body screamed in pain.

It was nothing compared to the knowledge that he was going to die. That was the mindset he was in. There was no condition, no logic or reason, or firm idea of what would do it. He just knew it.

Then he heard it. The howl that resounded inside of him, not just his ears. It was foreign and familiar all at the same time. He would forget the feeling when he woke up, but for now, maybe he had something to live for –

-.-.-.-.-

" _Fanning?"_

_He didn't reply, even as Parker nudged his body with concern. The Wolf called out to her mate, but Fanning only shook his head._

" _C'mon. We have to move," Parker said._

" _Where?"_

" _Anywhere but here. Thiel's still out there and we need more time to recover."_

_Fanning laughed. "Recover? How the hell do we do that?"_

" _Look, Tori wouldn't want you to – "_

" _Oh, and what makes you the expert on what Tori wanted," Fanning growled, snapping his teeth and forcing Parker to flinch away._

" _I lost her, too!" Parker shouted in frustration. Tori had been sweet and dark and sexy. She had been Fanning's first turn, but rough and unskilled as he was, she never lost her enigmatic confidence and wit. Parker had really liked her. "But you have to think about the rest of the pack. What are we going to do for them?"_

_Fanning's red eyes slid glassily over and past Parker. "I don't know that we've been doing anything at all."_

_What Parker got wrong was that an Alpha wasn't just born at the top of the hierarchy. The Alpha was the most affected when the pack was in danger. The Alpha had the most to lose when one of its pack was separated or gone. It went against the Alpha's very being to fail its pack._

_The Alpha, therefore, would either fight the most viciously to keep what it had, or eventually break from the pressure._

-.-.-.-

"You don't think you are your own person."

"'scuse me?"

They were awake earlier while the others were asleep, but the moon was soon to call them awake. Sean was unable to sleep on his own for more than a few hours, but he was able to handle the sound a little better now. Mark was in wolf form, reclining a few feet away from the pack. Sean, in human form, was sitting up against him. Mark's laptop was propped on Sean's knees, and he was currently making crude stick figures on Microsoft Paint. His interpretation of Brittney Spears could use some work, although some would argue that a vertical line with two diagonal yellow lines on top and two dots at the side was pretty accurate.

Mark said, "You don't believe you're a wolf."

Sean blinked in confusion. "You're right," he said slowly. "I don't really think that I grow fur, teeth, and a ridiculous urge to play fetch every night. The truth is, this werewolf thing? I'm pretty sure it's all the alprazolam talking."

"That's not what I meant," Mark said, shaking his head and huffing, struggling with the words. So like a vampire, Sean thought, as he had several times before, but with less disgust. Mark was not comfortable talking about other people, as if any assessment he made would have a too large margin of error. But it was Mark, and seeing him make the effort anyway was almost endearing. "I mean, you. Whenever the moon changes you, you think you are letting something _out_ of you that shouldn't be there. Like that in Turned werewolves. Andrew, at the beginning, told us there was another mind controlling his body at night. He eventually grew into himself. But you were Born."

Sean was stunned at first, but even after he got over that he did not give Mark an answer. Mark, who was well aware he hadn't technically asked any question, did not push it. They sat in silence. Half an hour later, Sean managed to draw something resembling a bridge between two islands (if he rotated Brittney Spears 90 degrees she would be as long as the bridge) before he finally spoke.

"I was the last of my brothers to learn how to fight an Alpha male, even though I was the oldest. Even then, my mom had to convince my dad to teach me. And he only gave in because he would rather see an Alpha female stand her ground than a man doing a woman's job."

Mark sort of nodded.

Sean leaned his head back, fighting an urge to turn and hide his voice with Mark's fur. "At one point in my life, I think I would have been fine going either way."

He waited for the response he knew would come – but the truth was, he _didn't_ know it would come. Because he couldn't imagine Mark giving him the suffering glare his father did, the uncomfortable gaze of his brothers, or the confused scowl of an idiot leech.

No, Mark shifted, so that Sean's head fell and nestled further into his mane. Mark said, "Whether you're wolf or human, you smell like Sean."

"Yeah?" Sean said quietly. "What does Sean smell like?"

Mark's answer was remarkably simple and horrifyingly honest. "You smell perfect."

Sean laughed at the lump in his throat, waking up some of the other wolves.

-.-.-.-.-

They all noticed her, because she didn't know the area and had no way of being stealthy. She wasn't pack. Sean noticed her because she carried a familiar scent of cinnamon and honey.

"Amy!"

The wolf, small and velvety blonde, approached the clearing. Mark's pack turned towards her cautiously. Mark himself was off with Eduardo scouting the territory, but Sean's familiarity with the newcomer held the pack back from reacting hostilely.

She looked nervously around her but determinedly walked towards Sean. "Parker," she greeted.

"How did you find me?"

"You howled. At the last full moon. We heard you." Without the pills, Sean was not as distorted. But under Thiel's control, they should not have been able to answer.

"There are more? How many? _How_?"

She rolled her eyes. "Five. We defected from Thiel."

There was an audible gasp scattered around the pack.

"All five of you?" Dustin blurted incredulously. "But defection could _kill_ you!"

Sean looked at her closely. The mental strain would have been easier on them since all five of them stuck together, but to convince four others to go against their Alpha, whether or not he was the right one, was a huge deal.

Sean gestured, and he and Amy left to talk in private.

"Are you sure…" Amy started. She pointed her head towards Mark's pack.

"Yeah. So. What about…"

Amy shook her head. "Fanning's still under that bastard's paw."

Sean visibly drooped. "So I was wrong." From the very beginning.

Amy keened, her ears flattening. "Don't do that. You and Fanning, you two were great Alphas. He gave you a choice. You made it."

Choice. That was a problem with mixing beast and man. Man severely overestimated its power of free will, and beast too often gave it up.

They had almost killed each other before they realized that they had stopped being compatible mates. The day Sean found himself physically fighting the instinct to kill a threatening Alpha that was at the same time his beloved companion, was the day he knew one of them had to go.

"I let Thiel take you. I ran and hid. That's not an Alpha." Male or female.

"Hey. We chose Thiel. We ignored you when you told us it was trap. That's not a _pack._ " She peered at him closely. "The day you finally take the blame for something, and it's when you shouldn't." She nuzzled him with her nose. "Besides, you said it yourself. Alpha, pack, lone. The titles don't matter, right?"

Sean looked behind him. "To be honest, I had a hard time believing myself until recently."

She followed his gaze. "They look strong. A bit strange – they smell like metal and sugar."

He turned back to her. "How have you been getting along? A pack of Lone wolves?"

She grinned at him. "We're the next generation. You taught us well." Her eyes glazed over. "Still, we missed you. It was so good to hear you again during that full moon." She nipped at him lightly. "You shouldn't have done that to yourself," referring to the drugs.

"I know. I'm... working on it." He ducked his head to lean it against forehead. "You did good, Amy. But our pack… it's gone now."

Amy shuddered at the words. "I still want to save Fanning."

Sean laughed bitterly. "The five of you, plus me, against Thiel's battalion of seasoned minions? Right."

"Not just us. You have a pack now!"

"They're not my pack."

"So what are they?"

"They're, like, – look, they just aren't! And they're small and new. There's no way I can ask them for help against Thiel."

Amy growled. "So you're just going to leave him? You may have replaced him as your mate, but what about as your _best friend!_ You love him, and he loves you!"

Sean's eyes flashed. "If I go to him, it won't be to save him. You know that."

"I know. And he's still better off if you –"

"Amy!"

Amy looked miserable. "You have to believe me. It's hell for pack members to submit to the wrong Alpha. But you know it's even worse for an Alpha to have to submit like this. _Sean._ "

Sean shook his head wearily. "I… I need to think about it," he sighed.

"I need to get back," she said solemnly. "Make up your mind soon."

When Sean went back, Eduardo and Mark had returned.

"Who was that?" Eduardo asked.

"She's from my old pack."

"Old?" Mark repeated, his voice strange. Sean looked at him, trying to assess that reaction.

"She looked awfully young," Eduardo said evenly, but looking upset.

"I guess," Sean shrugged, not sure what the deal was.

"And she was Turned, I could smell it. When?"

"My guess? Sixteen?"

A sudden hush passed across the pack. Sean was confused.

Eduardo's face contorted in disgust. "I let a lot of your shit go because I know werewolves are, whatever, different. But this is on the level of monstrous. You Turned a _kid?_ " he growled.

"Wardo," Mark started, but was brushed off angrily.

"She had her whole life ahead of her! And you just took that away because of some sick need to _spawn_ as much as possible!"

"It's not like we attacked her in a dark alley," Sean said hotly. "It was her choice! And what, being a werewolf is so bad? At least she's not a bloodsucking corpse!"

"Sean," said Mark this time, and it was a warning, but he didn't hear it.

"Although I'm not surprised you're just like the rest of your kind. You think you can judge us? Then you'll love that our youngest one was _thirteen_. And my mate? Just 72 hours into being legal."

Sean braced himself for the attack, but it never came. Instead, Mark was suddenly in full form growling possessively, and Eduardo was sliding across the floor, leaving an angry trail in the dirt.

This was the first time, of all of their fights, that Mark had stepped in. Two things occurred to Sean then, in no particular order. One – Eduardo had been about to attack _seriously._

Two – Mark had attacked _Eduardo_ for _Sean's_ sake.

That should not have happened. It had _never_ happened. Eduardo stared at his best friend in shock and rage, and Mark's ferocity immediately melted into regret.

"Wardo –"

" _Asshole_ ," Eduardo spat, and he was gone.

Mark lost no time in rounding on Sean. "What are you doing?" he said furiously.

"Mark, I – "

"Without _all_ its members, this pack can't function. If one goes, it all tears apart. _Fuck_ if I let you break this! Do you _get_ that? Do you like being fucked up on chemicals? Do you like being weak and pathetic? I'm _not_ going to end up like _you!_ "

By the time Sean had gotten around to thinking, "Well fuck you too," Mark had already gone after Eduardo.

"You couldn't have known this," Erica said coolly behind him, "But just for your contextual convenience. Wardo was only half vampire. His mom was human."

Sean frowned. "What? But he smells…"

"Dead?" Erica smirked humorlessly. "Eduardo could have gone to the city, married his girlfriend, and had a life beyond skulking around in caves." She shifted into wolf form. "His dad didn't see things that way. When Wardo was seventeen, he was taken from fifth period, trained for three years to develop a body 'worthy' of the Clans' Bite, then killed."

And she left to follow Mark.

"Shit," Sean muttered unsteadily.

"Yeah, that's about right," Dustin sighed.

"What, another lover's quarrel?" said an unfamiliar voice.

There was a rustling, and suddenly four vampires appeared, surrounding the wolves that were still in the area.

"Who are you?" Sean growled. He rushed forward to situate himself between the two largest vampires and the pack.

They were not only the largest, but they looked the exact same. "I'm Cameron," said one.

"Tyler," said the other.

"Divya," said the third male.

"Christy," said the female. "And you are…" she sniffed the area curiously. "…the new Alpha female." She grinned. "Jesus, the cuteness is killing me."

"Wow, I can't believe he landed one," Divya remarked.

"He did," Sean snapped. "And you're in our territory."

The twins exchanged glances, then smirked at Sean. "Guess you didn't get the memo. This is vampire-werewolf territory. We belong here as much as you."

Sean blinked. "You're part of Eduardo's clan."

"Nice to meet you," Cameron said.

"Saverin – that is, our Father – has finally come to a decision regarding Eduardo," said Divya. "And we came to inform him."

"And what's that?"

Tyler frowned. "Normally we wouldn't just tell any old wolf, but since you're his Alpha, whatever. Saverin acknowledges that Eduardo is now a member of Mark's pack. He respects Eduardo's determination to take what he wants and refusal to back down in the face of –"

" – blah blah blah. Long story short, we'll stop bugging Wardo about running around with wolves as long as he stops shirking on Clan proceedings." Christy said. "That boy actually fell asleep at our last meeting."

"Also," Cameron said, "We wanted to ask you about the new wolves trying to sneak into our territory. We let one of the leaders in to see if they wanted a challenge but she hasn't approached us yet."

"You're talking about Amy," Sean realized. "Wait, _one_ of the leaders?"

"Yeah, there's two packs. The leader of the bigger one hasn't tried to come in yet, though," Cameron said.

"Damnit!" Sean shouted. Eduardo's detox hadn't progressed long enough for all his senses to recover yet, so he didn't notice. They must have followed Amy. He turned to the pack. "We have to go. I think it's Thiel."

"Who's that?" Chris asked.

"A big douchebag with teeth," Sean said simply, and took off running. Without protest, the rest of the pack, plus four vampires, followed him.

"So why are we heading _towards_ the threat, without Mark and Wardo?" Dustin asked dubiously.

"Because Mark is there."

"How can you tell?" Divya asked.

"I don't know!" How _could_ he tell? As he raced along a path he'd never before traveled, ducked under branches he couldn't see and listened to wind that sang differently against the leaves, the realization dawned on him. It wasn't a scent as much as it was a sound. It wasn't a sound as much as it was a feeling. It wasn't a feeling as much as –

"I just – it's the same way he found _me_!"

.-.-.-.

Sean didn't even assess the situation with his eyes before he dove for the first enemy wolf he could reach. He already knew what he needed to do. Somewhere in the area, Mark was holding his own against Thiel and that meant that Sean's job was to keep Thiel's pack from getting in Mark's way. The others followed his lead, joining Erica in the fray as they tore into Thiel's pack.

Sean recognized some of them. He left Chris to tackle the grey-striped wolf that brought down Tori – if Sean had done it, he might have wasted too much time tearing him apart. There was a red wolf that had left Sean in a limp for a good while. Another had been the one that kept Sean awake at night while he sure Amy didn't die in her sleep.

A couple of them used to be in Sean's pack.

For half a second, he saw Amy a few feet away, pinning a black wolf to the ground. They could only afford to lock eyes for half a second before Sean turned away to tackle a wolf off of another.

"Parker!" Mack cried happily, recognizing his once Alpha, as he clambered to his feet. "We were looking for you! Amy – "

Sean grinned. "Yeah, I saw Amy. And I came. With backup. Get going, kid."

"Yes sir!" The young wolf nodded and leapt over Sean to tackle a female wolf aiming for them.

Looking around, Sean could easily tell which wolves had defected with Amy. They all moved to a single rhythm that Sean recognized as distinctly light and flexible. Amy's rhythm, Sean realized. These defected wolves were not a group of Lone wolves. They were a pack of wolves under an Alpha. But Amy had not been _born_ an Alpha. She had done it _herself,_ and she was the first wolf he knew of to do so.

The pride that swelled up in Sean spurred him on to the center of the battlefield.

He vaguely heard Dustin laughing as he dodged an infuriated wolf's attack, and pounced on her from behind. He saw Christy gleefully tearing into the flesh of a speckled one until Divya had to pull her off and tell her to focus. Sean nodded for a second at Wardo, who struck down a wolf heading for Sean's blind spot. Blood was leaking from the vampire's mouth, and it wasn't his own.

Sean never found Mark, but he didn't bother looking. He already recognized Mark's presence in the battlefield.

The way Chris moved out of a spot, Dustin took it up. The way Billy and Andrew, though several feet apart, seemed to fight as though they were back to back, turning with the other. The way Ashleigh always seemed to be in the way of the enemy's escape route. The way Erica and Wardo seemed to be aware of any potential blind spots to their pack members and dealt with them promptly.

It was systematic, creative, and mischievous. It had Mark written all over it. Mark lived and breathed in them. So Sean knew that even if he couldn't see him right now, they would eventually find each other again. Because, fuck it all, he needed to be part of this. He needed to be part of Mark this way.

And then he saw him.

-.-.-.-

Fanning was not fighting at first, so he stood out on the far end of the battlefield. Parker knew, then. Thiel had put him there. Wanted Fanning to reserve himself.

They locked eyes. There was a moment for Parker where time froze and grayed and broke. Fanning's shoulders were too hunched when they used to be relaxed, and his eyes were faded where they used to shine with playful intellect. In that moment, Parker grieved, screamed, and accepted. There were no words. Those had been said, screamed, long ago. And they weren't farewells, just postponements.

In the end, they hadn't been able to break any damn rule.

At first, the familiarity of it made the battle misleading. He'd fought with him before, as a way to get rid of excess energy when Fanning was newly Turned. The moves, through difficult to predict, were not new. When Fanning reared up, Parker rose to meet him. When Fanning drove him into the ground Parker easily shifted his weight and deflected to reverse their positions. When one scratched, the other met with a bite. It was almost graceful, the smoothness with which they easily fought around each other.

It was when time passed, and the exhaustion started to fray the edges of their senses. When neither was letting up, they suddenly became aware that this was no longer a simple practice fight between brothers, friends, partners, mates. Each attack, they realized, was one with the potential to be fatal.

Every time Parker butted his head against Fanning's, it became increasingly difficult, not just physically. He was no longer cataloguing every blow he took. The only wound that would matter was the one that stopped his heart.

So he didn't notice when Fanning dug his claws deep into the flesh above his ribs. He didn't notice when he was spitting out chunks of Fanning that was more than just fur. Throwing up was a minor annoyance and huge window of opportunity for Fanning to kill him. Luckily, he was able to roll out from Fanning's weight and recover.

There was nothing human about this, with emotional complications. They would not realize that the violence was pointless, that they cared about each other, and stop. This was all animalistic territorialism and instinct, where contract and compromise would be impossible.

Fanning was fighting because he didn't have a choice. His Alpha was in a battle, and Fanning was to follow suit. The fact he was fighting his best friend, his once-mate, his brother and comforter, did not matter. The moment Fanning remembered that he had the ability to make his own choices, he would also remember that through _his_ choices, he had led his pack to ruin, chased off his mate, and caused too many of his loved ones to die. So he didn't let himself remember, and continued fighting.

Parker had no choice but to remember, because if he forgot then he would make the same mistakes – and he couldn't let that happen. So he refused to forget, and continued fighting.

They rose on their hind legs to claw at each other's necks, and grappled until finally Fanning lost his footing and fell on his back. This time, Parker didn't let him rebound. Motivated by single-minded horror and adrenaline, he kept Fanning pinned down. There was no human restraint to keep him from biting at his friend's hide and tearing deep gashes into his throat.

At least, not until Fanning's body began to shrink, rearrange, his fur began to retreat, and before Parker knew it, he had unprotected and torn flesh pinned beneath his claws.

You die the same way you were born. One day, Parker would die a beast.

For the rest of his life, Parker would remember the feeling when he saw Fanning's face from that angle. His thought: "God, why are you still so _young_?"

-.-.-.-

Mark pulled his fangs out of Thiel's jugular, climbed off of the Alpha's still-warm body, and limped towards Sean.

Sean wasn't unconscious, but he did not move from his spot beside the human corpse.

Once Mark was close enough to Sean, he fell over to his side – he couldn't rest on his broken hind leg – and stayed there.

He closed his eyes, waiting for Sean to gather up enough energy to send his friend to the moon in a Final Howl.

-.-.-.-

Those who survived in Thiel's pack split up. Some of them submitted to Mark, some ran off and became Lone wolves. Some submitted to Amy, which was super confusing.

"That's insane," Amy protested when Sean explained his theory. "I didn't mean to be any type of Alpha! I just wanted to get away from Thiel! How could I possibly do it?"

Sean only pointed her towards her new pack. She waved hesitantly at Mack, who was grinning expectantly at her. "Trust them," he told her. "Trust yourself. And just keep doing what you did. You're so great. You're so strong." He showered her with praises the way her mother should have done instead of drunken curses. He did it until finally Amy could walk away and confidently lead her pack back home.

Chris had a little bit of his ear missing. Erica had to have her left eye stitched, but she said the scar would look sexy and wasn't that broken up about it. Billy lost a pinky, which everyone wondered about because it should have retracted in his wolf form. He just shrugged and started to chase after Ashleigh, who was completely grossed out by the stump.

Wolves with severe internal wounds were not allowed to transform, lest they jostle the injured areas. Dustin was upset at the prospect of not being able to play Mario Kart. Mark was also disgruntled since he couldn't program for while. Andrew didn't mind, he just spent his time experimenting with paw-claw-painting.

Sean, too, was stuck in his wolf form. But soon, with Wardo's help, he was able to go hunting and bring back food for the rest of the pack. Eduardo took the blood, making the prey compact and easier to carry.

"I will forever find that disgusting," Wardo said queasily as Sean coughed up bits of the deer they'd caught.

"How else am I supposed to hold it without opposable thumbs?" Sean asked, laughing. "At least I don't go all cannibalistic on my pack members when I'm feeling peckish," he teased.

"Point," Eduardo consented.

"Did you spend the whole day flirting with each other or did you actually bring back food?" Mark called irritably. Bed-ridden was not a good look on the Alpha.

Sean and Eduardo exchanged glances. "You want to deal with that?" Sean offered.

"No way," Eduardo said cheerfully.

Sean sighed long-sufferingly. "Coming, darling!" he sang, trotting over with a mouthful of deer leg.

-.-.-.-.-

Having a pack to look after was an effective distraction, but as things calmed down, Sean found it harder to forget he was still addicted. Not liking how badly Sean's body still reacted, Wardo reluctantly had to slow down the rate at which he decreased dosage.

He knew the pack meant well, but a lot of times Sean couldn't help but think that none of them knew what this was like. It was infuriating. Isolating. But it was more than Sean could ever ask for, so he stayed.

There were other setbacks.

Once Mark recovered enough, he was able to transform during an almost-full moon for Sean again. It was different this time. Sean didn't look at Mark's body and see something to guard and protect.

Instead, he saw a corpse of a fallen mate, and he saw the wounds he had inflicted in such a small, small body, and how could he have ever expected this to work?

"No, no, stay away," he moaned, when Mark approached. "I'll hurt you, sorry, I can't, can't lose–" The moon was too bright.

So Mark turned back to a wolf. "Listen to me," he commanded to Sean's retreating form. "Listen!"

(One day, Sean will.)

-.-.-.-.-

"I could kill you," Sean murmured.

"You could try."

"You don't think I can?" Sean traced on Mark's pale neck the shape of the gash he now knew he was capable of creating, then spread his thumb over it.

"I think you don't want to."

"We don't always get what we want."

Mark looked up at Sean, the prospect of a challenge lighting up his face. "Sure."

End.

**Author's Note:**

> Title is a reference to Justin Timberlake’s commentary on the "snookie’s cookie’s" line. This plot was originally meant for Eduardo, and unfortunately I think that resulted in a kind of loss of Sean’s voice, which I’m really sorry for. There are many things I couldn’t fit in, one huge part being Mark and Eduardo’s past relationship, or even their pasts in general. So there will probably be a spinoff of this of some sort. This is the longest thing I’ve written in a long time, and I don’t think my ‘style’ or whatever you would call it is ideal for 10k words, but I can’t tell if that’s just me being sick of looking at this fic so many times over again.


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